I often get the question “What does it mean to surrender? It sounds nice and all – but what does it actually look like in practice?”

I love this question. Here’s my answer:

1. Believe in some sort of higher power.
2. Trust that it knows better than you do.
3. Pay attention.
4. Act accordingly.
5. Let go of the outcome.

1. Believe in some sort of higher power.

This is a necessary prerequisite, for obvious reasons. We can’t surrender if we don’t believe there is anything to surrender to.

Note: I am personally not picky about what kind of framework you use to define your higher power. God, the universe, Spirit, Source, your higher self – it’s all the same to me.

2. Trust that it knows better than you do.

Step two is where it starts to get tricky. We might think we are devout in our faith, that we trust the universe completely – but our actions tell a different story. (How many times have you told yourself that whatever reality was in front of you wasn’t good enough?) If you really trust, 100%, in a higher power that is guiding your life, then it must be the case that everything that unfolds is happening FOR you. Believing this frees us to move with the flow instead of against it.

3. Pay attention.

The universe talks to us in all kinds of ways. Sometimes it’s hearing the same message over and over from different places. Other times an idea just pops into our head, seemingly out of nowhere. Or we might randomly decide to stop by the library one afternoon, end up browsing in a section we’ve never been in before, and find our eyes landing on a book called The Surrender Experiment. (Which is exactly what happened to me one day).

Meditation and journaling can also be great ways to connect with messages the universe has for us. There’s also my most-commonly-used practice, one I turn to multiple times a day – closing my eyes, taking a few deep breaths, and centering myself in the present moment. When we slow down, it becomes much easier to listen to divine guidance.

4. Act accordingly.

When three people in three days tell you that you need to join Instagram: create an account. When your inner knowing nudges you to talk to that person: say hello. When a “God idea” suddenly drops into your mind: act on it.

This seems simple but can be difficult in practice, thanks to the overactive, argumentative minds most of us are blessed with.

For example, I first wrote this post to invite people into a small-group coaching program I was running called But First: Surrender.

According to the “experts,” these types of things are supposed to be about pain points and results. I get you and I have a solution to your problem. Oh, and by the way, lots of people think I’m awesome.

Instead, I penned a how-to guide on surrender. Why?

Because according to my inner guidance, it was the right thing to do. So be it.

5. Let go of the outcome.

We think we do things for a certain result. Go to school to get a good job. Join a dating site to meet “the one.” Start a business to help people.

But what if that’s not the case? What if the reasons for our actions and circumstances are beyond what our minds can comprehend? Do we really believe that we’re capable of seeing our lives from God’s vantage point?

And so: we let go of the outcome, and trust that no matter what happens, the universe has our back.

Final Thoughts

It’s important to note that our minds/egos will often argue loudly with us as we move through these five steps. Especially when it comes to essential-survival type things, like how we make a living. But if we truly want to commit to the spiritual path of letting go of our own agenda and simply showing up to serve, that means doing so in every single aspect of our lives.